My sister really is a rotten pain –
she’s on my settee, and barking again!
My mum will get cross, and I know she’ll shout,
and the next thing will be – we’ll have to go out!
My Mum’s got a thing that gives out a sound
that she can’t hear, but it’s hell for a hound!
I’m sitting pretty, as good as I can –
so Jezzie, behave! Before s*** hit’s the fan!
I hate my big sister! She bosses me about,
’specially when I’ve seen a cat and I start to shout.
I think Mum likes her best, and that’s not really fair
Cos she chose to have me , then Myschka jumped in there!
“Mum, Jezzie’s got my ball again! And I had it first!
She snarled at me and snatched it while I relieved my thirst.”
Ha-ha, you fool, I saw my chance and snatched it while I could,
but you have to sneak to Mum and make out that you’re so good!
You awful runt, you’re such a bore! Mum knows I’m always good.
She shows it every dinner time cos I’m first with the food!
Ah that may be, you rotten bitch, but when we all go out,
who’s the first who gets to walk and who’s left at home to shout?
You only get to go out first cos you make such a noise.
When left behind I settle down and play with all the toys!